the post that never got written

When I said at the end of my last post "...any days now", little did I know that only a few hours from writing those words down, that very day I'm going to have my baby.

It was a total shock and surprise. A full week away from the due date, and with all the doctors and nurses saying how high up his head and my cervix still were, everybody thought I'll be well overdue. We only reluctantly drove to the hospital to get a tiny spot of trickling fluid checked out, because you have to, to be on the safe side - even though we thought not much of it... Halfway out the front door I asked my boyfriend - Shall I change my top? It has a few holes in it... No need, he said, we are only being sent home after, so don't bother... In the hospital, being hooked up to the quietly galloping baby heartbeat monitor we were still joking around about the situation, thinking we will be sent homewards in a minute to concentrate on making some dinner.

Not so - instead suddenly it got serious. The trickle of fluid was in fact the waters breaking. I had no signs of contractions, or any amount of dilation, or any readiness of the cervix being anywhere near ripe enough for birthing... When the doctor switched on the ultrasound, it turned out that we had a breech baby! How he fooled everyone - nurses, doctors, me - with his bony little bum, for all those months..!

The options were quickly presented to us, and as soon as we heard the list of risks involved in natural or induced delivery in our case, I had no desire to do it naturally anymore. All my preconceived ideas about how it will happen went out the window: the breathing techniques, the no painkillers, no epidural, the ladida of it all... I was not interested in anything except my baby anymore, I wasn't interested in my fears or my preferences or how I will do during the procedure. All I could think of was our baby's health, so all of a sudden it was not dinner-, but emergency caesarean time.

 

 

I get exhausted just to think about how intense it was from that moment on, right up until a few days ago...now it's settling down bit by bit. We now think that the whole scenario was a blessing in disguise. Not at all because of the labour pains and how I didn't need to go through it. It's because how our little boy was in there and how unready my body was to give birth to him. Now we have a very healthy two weeks and a day old baby boy, he is beautiful and turning into a total milk fiend.

I will write down the whole birth story soon, before all the funny and teary details sink into post-natal oblivion. For now I just wanted to let you guys know that it's done, that he's with us and it's all good. We are very happy, a bit tired, very much on a learning curve with it all, but it's bliss.

I'm still on blog break, but will allow myself to write when I have a moment, hopefully starting with the full birth story. At the moment the scar and the baby are the boss of me, so we are spending most of our time indoors, mainly feeding and sleeping, not a lot of thrifting or crafting going on at all. All in its own good time.

Until next time then - enjoy your autumn (or spring) wherever you are; see you here again soon! xx

PS.: There was meant to be a post between the summer recount and the birth announcement, entitled 'Any day now'. It was meant to be about my final preparations, but obviously it never got written - hence the title...